Harvey And The New Girl

waiting room

Harvey sat behind his desk and looked out through the glass at the new girl. The tellers at the bank turned over a lot and if he didn’t like the looks of one, all he had to do was wait. The last girl was a short Hispanic who chewed her gum too enthusiastically and occasionally picked her nose. This new girl however, she was a real number. She had coppery hair that fell down over a set of perky boobs. Those same boobs strained to break free of a shirt that barely met the bank’s Amish dress code. As Harvey caressed her curves with his mind, his bliss was interrupted by the harsh ring of his phone.

“Harvey Wilkerson, Investments.” He said.

“Harvey, its Barry, I gotta guy in here who says he wants to put some dollars to work in the market. You gotta minute to talk to him?”

Harvey sighed. “Does this fucker have more than two nickels to rub together? That last bum you sent me was in bankruptcy.”

“Now Harv, don’t be hard ass, a referral is a referral. You got time or not?”

“Yeah send him over.” Harvey straightened his tie and prepared to lay his best power pitch on yet another unsuspecting customer. As he shuffled the papers around on his desk, the new teller caught his eye. She was looking right at him, something that she, or any other teller for that matter, had never done. She was looking past a large man standing at her counter and staring right at Harvey. The strong eye contact made the crotch of his pants suddenly tighten. Harvey smiled at her, sucked in his paunch, and tried to angle himself to better hide his comb over. The girl smiled back nervously and then rolled her eyes toward the man standing in front of her. Harvey felt like she was trying to tell him something.

Without warning, the big man at the counter pulled a gun and started pointing it at the new girl. “Everybody get down, this is a robbery. Don’t fuck around and nobody gets hurt. Alright sweetheart put the cash from all the drawers in this bag.”

Harvey froze in his seat, the bulge in his pants deflated as quickly as his courage. In his thirteen years at the bank he had never witnessed an actual robbery. The big man swung the gun around and made sure everyone was down on the floor. He spotted Harvey still at his desk and slowly aimed the gun at him.

“Don’t be a hero baldy. I will shoot the fuck outta you in a heartbeat. Get on the floor now.”

Harvey couldn’t move. Something inside of him locked him to his seat. He didn’t want the new girl to see him cowering down like everyone else. He wanted to save her, make her realize that he was a real man, a man she would want to make sweet love to. He looked up at the robber and heard himself speak.

“Fuck you.”

“What did you say?” the big man asked as he walked over to Harvey’s door.

Harvey looked the man in the eyes and didn’t flinch. “I said fuck you asshole.”

The big man seemed stunned by Harvey’s remark. He stood in the doorway for a second before pulling back the hammer on the revolver. Harvey looked past the barrel of the gun and saw the new girl, a look of terror frozen on her beautiful face. At that moment all he wanted was to make her feel better, make her feel safe.

Harvey shot up out of his chair and grabbed the revolver from the big guy’s hand. The gun went off sending a bullet through Harvey’s shoulder. He felt a white hot surge of pain wash through his body, but he didn’t let go. He ripped the pistol from the big guy’s hand and pointed it at his head. The robber’s eyes were wide with shock and he threw his hands up as he dropped to the ground. In a daze, Harvey watched himself place the pistol against the man’s skull and pull the trigger. The blast sent a crimson spray across the beige carpet. Harvey always hated that fucking carpet anyway.

Through waves of pain, Harvey heard sirens and he could see the reflection of blue lights flashing on his office window. He dropped the revolver on the dead man’s body and walked out of his office. The place was in chaos, customers and staff screaming as the police swept in. Harvey locked eyes with the new girl as he walked toward her. Everything around him was out of focus, a frenzied blur. The new girl stood perfectly still, her mouth slightly open in shock. Harvey placed a blood splattered hand on his head and slicked down his flaring comb over.

“Would you like to go out with me some time?” He asked.

The new girl looked back and forth between the weeping hole in Harvey’s shoulder and his shock fogged eyes. “Uh, I’m married and have two kids. Besides your old.”

Harvey sighed and slumped against the kiosk, leaving a bloody smear on the way down. “Fuck this place.” He thought.


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